All rights reserved. Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. We follow the life of Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane), an incompetent and inept sheep farmer whose girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) breaks up with him because of his glaring lack of courage and skill. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. We Should All Just Wear Coffins As Clothes, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Bernard Herrmann: The Twilight Zone Conducted By Joel McNeely (Music From Television Series), Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (Original Soundtrack), X-Men: Days of Future Past - Rogue Cut (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Extended Version], The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), 007: Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Version]. A Million Ways to Die in the West. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - He Drank the Whole Bowl! Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". "Don't go snackin' if you been tobaccin'.". 4:18 . Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. You can't blame Seth MacFarlane, that one-man comedy . Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. Chinese Date: My father is a railroad worker, like every other Chinaman. There is an unrated, Extended Cut available, approximately 20 minutes longer. R. What should be an ensemble comedy is more of a showcase for MacFarlane, who also co-writes and takes production and music credits. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. 2014 Universal Studios. 1882. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? Web. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. Your mileage may vary depending on your enthusiasm for his smirking frat-boy comedy. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto I went to your farm the other day, and I saw one in the back yard, three way up on the ridge, two in the pond and one on the roof. [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. 18 Songs, 41 minutes I'm not going to the stupid fair. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. The only time it came out of nowhere was when Charlize said, "Hey, Ewan McGregor is doing a movie up the street!" Albert: I know. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. The film was number three at the box office during its opening weekend and grossed over $87 million worldwide against a budget of $40 million. Copyright Fandango. Monty Pythons Every Sperm is Sacred is sort of the best example I can think of, he said. If You've Only Got a Moustache. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. Albert: Oh my god, please! Albert: Oh. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. May 29, 2014. It found more than 1,100 deaths a year from climate change-caused heat in . 1882. Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. But some men were just big giant pussies. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. I look like I have Parkinson's next to him. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. Its justits a song about sperm, and yet they treat it with such legitimacy in their orchestration and their vocal performance and their choreography, and its this huge number with what looks to be over 100 dancers on screen. Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. Maybe its his way of paying her back for mentioning her in his tasteless We Saw Your Boobs song at the Oscars. Seth MacFarlane, the rowdy "Family Guy" creator who wrote, directed, and stars in the new comedy "A Million Ways to Die in the West," stopped by TODAY Thursday to talk about the film. If You've Only Got a Moustache. The one thing a sheep farmer has to do is keep all of the sheep in one place, all right? I suck at sheep. Joel McNeely composed the score and Media Rights Capital, Fuzzy Door Productions, and Bluegrass Films produced the film. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . Link to Are You There God? A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. 116 minutes. When she shoots, short cuts to the gallery show 10 targets, but 12 shots are heard and Anna wins the prize for perfect score. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . 15. Nov 20, 2014. To order copies of Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: Somebody bring me one of them white women. 17+. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. If You've Only Got a Moustache. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. Edward: Albert, he's dead. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. She has a problem with retardation, but she's full of love. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. 3 likes. R, 1 hr 55 min. Apple Inc. Hes outclassed by Charlize Theron, who shows off her comedy chops in a surprisingly big way and generally seems to be enjoying herself. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Old Stump Bluegrass . Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition] by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. MacFarlane also relied on veteran singer and two-time Grammy nominee Amick Byram to do the vocals. . And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's Girl, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Things Could Be a Lot Worse, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's First Time. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, and director Rob Marshall share the tale behind making their underwater musical with a groundbreaking Disney princess. Ruth: Oh yeah, it's this, its like from here to here. I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. As . All Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the, The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. With Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson. 2014 Back Lot Music. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. But theres just one path to his infantile humour. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. 1:31. Isn't the fair on Saturday? As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . That's a dollar bill!". Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. Apple TV & Privacy Doctors! Directed by Seth MacFarlane. And if they dont work the first time, hell try and try again. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: [after shooting someone] people die at the fair. This is the curious thing about MacFarlane. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. But if I caught you by surprise Well, Anna taught me just enough to get me in the ballpark. All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights And, uh, wild animals. 33%. If you can get a song in there, its just a nice Hollywood tradition.. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars. Indian Chief: (after Albert's drug trip hallucination; in Athabaskan) Did you shoot the black condor and then kicked it in the balls? Development for A Million Ways to Die in the West began while MacFarlane and co-writers Sulkin and Wild were watching western movies during the development of Ted. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. See production, box office & company info. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. A Million Ways to Die in the West hits theaters on May 30. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. It's like they lose the power to innovate because they're staring at the stick hoop all day. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Anyone can read Conversations, but to contribute, you should be a registered Torstar account holder. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. 1, Independence Day: Resurgence (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hail, Caesar! He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Anna and Albert. The joke evolved into "riffing on the idea of how dull, depressing, and dangerous it must have been to live in the Wild West." Missing Trailer Scene: The bit with the doctor . Foy: My dear, they're practically Chinese! At a recent press conference held in Los . 11. [stammers] It's a weather experiment. To order CookiePolicy After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . rights reserved. Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. Support. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." Albert: I'm not the hero. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Albert: Okay, all right, get ready. It stunts their attention span. This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. . There may indeed be A Million Ways to Die in the West, as the title of Seth MacFarlanes parody western asserts. It's got to be bad for their brains, right? But I got great tits. It's Me, Margaret. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_110222, A Million Ways to Die in the West Screenplay, A Million Ways to Die in the West's quotes, https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_quotes_110222. Albert: The guy is one of the best shots around. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition], Classic Soundtracks: Psycho (1960 Film Score), The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), The Magnificent Seven (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hercules (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey (Music from the Original TV Series), Vol. [leaves]. Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. Louise is gonna be there, and she's gonna be with Foy. Internet Service Terms Copyright 2023 Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. . September 9, 2014 PREVIEW. The one where EW follows up with the cast. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. Albert: "The American west is a terrible place and time. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. He's been dead for a few minutes. In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. Amick Byram. This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. 1 May 2023. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. Privacy Policy Well, it was still good though. Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. I read an article in the paper. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been.. RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Ted While A Million Ways to Die in the West was nowhere . Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! A Million Ways to Die in the West. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. 2 likes. Albert: No, no, no, no! Then Stark must put his newfound bravery to the test when Anna's outlaw husband arrives with plans to plant him in an unmarked grave. Albert is attracted to her, initially, by her beauty, but realizes she's the courage and confidence he has always hungered for. At least stay through the weekend. Albert: Okay, that's Bridget, all right? Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! His comedy might be irreverent, but the key to success in a musical number, MacFarlane says, is treating your material with the utmost seriousness. Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. Even as a self-described non-dancer, MacFarlane knows how to assemble the right team for a showstopper. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? Quotes.net. I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. Me too. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! and the Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. You know, like snakes. George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song'. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Like, My God, you put all this work and all this time and all this artistry into a song about sperm?'. Food was scarce, disease was rampant, and life was a daily struggle for survival. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. He got . Newspapers Limited, 8 Spadina Avenue, 10th Floor, Toronto, ON M5V 0S8. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Albert: Yeah, I saw that. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been. Albert: Yeah. Like. All rights reserved. Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish.

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