Your Reports Help Protect the Agnostic CommunityReport Content, I think this violates the community guidelines. I appreciate the idea of sending a card thinking of the loss of a loved one for different occasions, but I also think of sending when there is no reason but just because because you care about them. Our hearts are so heavy with yours right now. Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Affiliate Disclosure, What to Say Instead of Youre in My Thoughts and Prayers, say or write to someone whilst they are grieving. 3 Reasons 'Thoughts and Prayers' Is Criticized Offering "thoughts and prayers" as condolences is often criticized for various reasons: 1. Our church offers the program Griefshare which is a Christian based support program. The LAST thing I want is anyone dropping by. According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), deaths due to drug-related overdosesafter declining by 4.1% from 70,237 in 2017 to 67,367 in 2018 increased by about 4.6% to 70,980 in 2019 and by 18.2% to 81,230 for the last 12 months ending May 2020. THE PRAYER: "Dear God, I ask for your guidance in making this decision. As shown by Fig. Let them know that they can call you day or night to chat. If you dont know the grieving person very well, stick to something a bit more generic such as, I am so sad to hear about your loss. If you are very close with the person, then you likely know exactly what to say and do so that they feel loved and cared for. Thats about the time everyone else has moved on but that mama still has a huge gaping hole in her heart compounded by thoughts that everyone else has forgotten, and confused by thoughts that others wish you would move on. How about a hug, a love you, or a physical need(bring sandwich stuff, offer to clean a house, do an errand, etc) fulfilled. Wow I am truly sorry for all you have been through, I hope you find peace in your heart with so much tragedy. -- Why Our Health Matters, Our Sacred Planet Mother Earth in all of its Amazing Beauty and the Quote of the Day 73. I am here anytime you need to talk. Ive never felt closer to my Father in Heaven and to Jesus Christ than during this time. All of you on the air henceforth; There is no person on earth who can help someone get through such a tragedy like God can. Im grateful shes no longer in pain and confined to a sick body. I needed emotional support during these timessomeone too meet for coffee or bring me a meal. I especially liked the fact they took in consideration, the specific relationships between, say me and the person who had passed, I.e. I agree with you. Share. Say what? Remember that what you choose to say or write will ultimately be insignificant compared to being there for those grieving, attending the funeral and offering your support. not having a religious character : secular. So thoughtless, but not intentionally unkind. They are both items that they will see often and it lets them know that I remembered their pain and they remember I care. When someone is grieving, the world continues to spin, and they are often responsible for an overwhelming amount of things. This link will open in a new window. Below, well provide you with 15 short prayers that could be perfect for those occasions. Words fall short of expressing my sorrow. If it is the loss of a loved one you give condolences and offer them your help in coping. 2. Many people prefer non-faith-based rehab based on science, not faith. Gina I am with you, were on same page. Even if you didnt know someone that well that has suffered a loss its still important to express your condolences. Not all prayer is the same. Taken stanza-by-stanza, there are also portions that are completely secular. I finally had to say please stop, Im not like you I need time to process and accept. , or their community is surrounding them in their home after a loss, it can be hard to find time to clean up. Yea that's thought provoking and profound. I agree. this then invokes a non-religious philosophical concept, but this does show that you don't have to stick to a short one-liner if you want to avoid religion. Without the grief support after the loss of my daughter I dont know how I would have made it through the first few months. "Sending good thoughts for you.". When my husband died, for some reason I really hated it when someone said Im so sorry or sorry in any way. Wierd I know, but in talking to other people who have lost someone close, theyve said the same thing. I felt like I was going to scream if another person said Im sorry, etc. I wish things were different, I am so sorry for your loss. May you return to being purely you. I am not there, I do not sleep. My Daddy was a Minister and would always drop whatever he was doing to pray for anyone for whatever their hearts needed. Many religions have a prayer that youre supposed to recite before you begin a meal. Your family will be in my thoughts. Several years later, I lost both my step parents and my older brother whom I adored! May you be cleansed and purified Just do something for them. May s/he be peaceful and happy. I lost my precious, only daughter followed by my mother and then brother in less than 1 1/2 year span. This short poem (author unknown) is a beautiful, non-religious remembrance for a funeral eulogy. A non-denominational or non-religious prayer might be a good choice if the person youre speaking or writing to isnt religious. I will ALWAYS be the lady whose daughter died of brain cancer Theres nothing anyone CAN do to change anything. Now I have lost you, I must scatter Seems we are often led to take God out of everything. Mark your calendar 3 months. You can even set up a memorial donation page and invite others to contribute too with a platform like, 22. Just know it is a workbook that is gone through over the course of several months. Please refer to them as passed on and not Lost. It will let them know that you are there for them and in it with them. And its my belief I was meant to read this post. Our neighbor lost her husband and my husband and I worked for hours to get up her leaves just because. The Hospice team that took care of my father in the end, provides this service. 4. Instagram. When I come to the end of the road communion. Then, don't just talk about it, be about it. Most importantly, know your are not alone and there are people who can help you, comfort you, cry with you and hopefully laugh and smile with you. people mean only kindness but feel like they need to say something to fill the awkwardness but please know they are hurting beyond words. And in turn offer them even more comfort when they need it most. Many families specify a charity. I agree with you.. Prayers can envelop you. Share. If you want to say it, try: "My thoughts are with you.". I totally agree. There are no words I am so sorry for your loss. Chat or rant, adult content, spam, insulting other members. intercession. Life is the perfect game. You should appreciate that anyone would reach out to you in a time of terrible sadness or life changing event. A simple hello, how are you, and asking them to share a special memory of their loved one can do so much to lighten their emotional load. We need to love our neighbor as our self this is what I am learning.. That brings wisdom through the dirt I am loving hearing all the stories his co-workers and friends are sharing. When friends of mine have experienced a loss I have wanted what I say to offer them as much comfort as possible. And, just so you know, I full well plan on re-reading your post, including the categories. I am the gentle autumn rain. -or clean it. These programs are located all over the nation. God made us to be a people who are interconnected on so many levels. When, their friends received the news; they came that night and cleaned the house, received food and flowers and took all messages. With wisdom and compassion. I really appreciate these thoughtful, meaningful expressions. I try do that also. It is a one size fits all application. I understand some of these, however Ive lost both parents two brothers. I literally feel held up by angels every day. Not every system of belief is about prayers or Jesus. orison. To dispell darkness we introduce light. Who or what post are you commenting on? A: Any variation on "I'm so sorry to hear about this, and I'm here for you if you need anything" or "Call me if you need to talk" should work. We each grieve in our own way. We will be there, Family will surround you with love and support, I was utterly devastated to learn of your loss, I know how much youre hurting and I want to be there to help, You wont be alone to get through this. It is important to validate the grief and sadness that your friend or loved one is experiencing right now. I wish more people followed this instead of the usual insincere comments. When I lost both of my parents I appreciated those who reached out with their warmth and kindness. A homemade meal is the perfect way to let someone know that youre there for them while providing some comfort. I shall have no sorrow to die. During the loss of my sisters husband I found a bracelet for her and a key chain for her daughter with nice sentiments. Show them you care by being a shoulder to cry on and any other support they need. : False Evidence Appearing Real, Why I Failed to Achieve My Goals (And What I Did About It! 9. Religion & Spirituality WE NEED AN ATHEIST EQUIVALENT TO THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS - After the Parkland shooting, conservative hypocrisy rendered the phrase "our thoughts and prayers are with you." to be meaningless but they're still going to use it for every terrible thing that happens regardless. If none of the prayers and poems listed above strike your fancy, you can create your own. I cannot imagine the depth of your pain. I would rather someone perform an act of kindness without the expectation of even being acknowledged for the action, if possible. . Share a story with the grieving person that they may not have known. If a friend or family reached out to you when you werent feeling well, you might want to send them a thank-you note. In the middle of the night especially, its a paper hug in a way. Really?? We will be by your side, I hope the love of family and friends will bring you comfort through such tough times, May the happy memories you have provide some comfort, As you grieve please remember how much you are loved, I will always make time for you if there is anything you need during this tragic time, I wish there was something I could do to help ease the pain, I love you and will be there to support you, Hold on to the memories of your loved one and they will never truly leave you, When someone you love becomes a memory the memory becomes a treasure, Losing a parent is heartbreaking and I am so very sorry, It is cruel to have someone so special taken from us. A phrase I hate even more, that many TV news people use, is "Our hearts go out to you"--because it seems like an insincere cliche. Find 3 ways to say NONRELIGIOUS, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. You should have punched her. Thoughts and prayers didn't exactly help there, did it?? Heres an excerpt, for example: I am thankful for my family, 4 Things you Can Do in Place of "Thoughts and Prayers" 1. And it has a similar message. Who have helped to bring it to our table, @slope unblocked. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. Non-religious people may be atheists, which means that they don't see any reason to believe there is a god. As a mother, who has buried two of my children, there are no words. I agree. Gina, I agree that it does have a huge impact on how people behave after such statements. I do not use past tense. You are kind beyond belief; When offering your condolences to those who have suffered a loss one of the most common phrases is youre in my thoughts and prayers (or some variation of that). Just be real. What You Can Say Instead of Sending 'Thoughts and Prayers' When sending condolences to someone who is grieving, you'll want to make sure your message is appropriate, sensitive, kind, and caring. And I especially did not want to hear how my loved ones were in a better place or that God loved them so much that he brought them home! These kind of platitudes made me insane. It can help them feel less alone, and they will know you care for them and that they can ask you for help if they need it. I have learned so much from this experience! However after reading this and all the responses its seems so complicated that maybe I shouldnt say anything. Luckily, there are several non-religious poems and prayers that can help you offer words of support. It let me know that I wasnt alone in loving him, it gave me another piece of him that I didnt have before, and it helps me to remember his life instead of just his death. I agree with you , however none of the alternate things offered, mentioned leaning on God for strength and keeping faith strong through the pain of a loss. And it demonstrates understanding of their pain and empathy to the situation. Not having him with us is so difficult but I know with all my heart he is in heaven watching over us. What I found unforgivable, still, is It is Gods Will GOD only knows this was Not a thing to tell a mother, who was watching her child breathe their last breath! This must be so hard to bear. I tell them that I am glad they knew love and hope they find peace. You know that any given day would be a good day to send loving thoughts and memories, because every day they are thinking of their loss. I still say I love my daughter. You'll be in my thoughts and my prayers" I feel as an agnostic atheist, I'm not being true to myself by saying that. Actually, that is the perfect thing to say to someone suffering such an unimaginable loss. When sending condolences to someone who is grieving, youll want to make sure your message is appropriate, sensitive, kind, and caring. Many things occur that dont make sense, we live in a broken world. Many religions say a short prayer before a meal, in which a blessing is asked and thanks are given. You have yourself a unique non-religious prayer to use however youd like. For instance, you can say something along the lines of, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Let Me Go,by the Victorian poet Christina Rossetti,is a short poem that you can use in place of a prayer at a funeral. Most likely, they will tell you NO. For me, it came back 10 fold when I lost my youngest son at the age of 24.

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